therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
