super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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