Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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