Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
