That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
