your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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