I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
