Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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