dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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