are you so shy because you have an std?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
3 2 1 whiskey
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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