I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
