found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
