I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
a search helicopter?!
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
