Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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