I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
