you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize