Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
