I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
