GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
