Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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