i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize