Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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