Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
