this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
