its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
