Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
