I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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