we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
