as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
