I'm jealous of your bromance
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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