According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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