Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
