There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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