I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
