I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
