I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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