She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I will be naked everywhere
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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