my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
