TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
