Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize