so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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