They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
