spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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