Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
