a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
