we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
