I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
