He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
