I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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