so explain again why im purple
no
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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