It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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