My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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