very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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