we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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