I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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