pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
