he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize