I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
